I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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