My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize