i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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