i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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