the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
