do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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