No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
