we're blogging at a bar
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
