I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I think I just sharted jello shots
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