I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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