Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
