She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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