I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
