ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
