Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
