My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
After tacos, we're chasing women.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
