singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
