Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
