Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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