Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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