Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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