Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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