my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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