im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
