that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
