Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
