I want to make a zoo with you.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
