So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
