You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
