WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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