Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
