im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
