going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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