from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
