Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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