I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
