idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm jealous of your bromance
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
