She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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