$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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