It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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