Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
