dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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