jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
