At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
