Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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