I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
