this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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