I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
