ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
