you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
