I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
40s are totally the cure
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
