I got chris browned last night
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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