Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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