you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My balls are so social today.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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