people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
